March 23rd 2020
An old work colleague made an interesting observation today, that had me in deep thought for many hours.
She relayed, how a year ago today, she had been 38 weeks pregnant, fighting to be able to board the train to work.
Being crushed by people not paying attention to the short, tired, pregnant woman - and for the duration of the 35 minute train ride into the city - she would stand, as no one would even glance up, to offer her a seat.
Fast forward to today, where our streets are largely empty, where non-essential workplaces have been shut down, where people in our essential workforce, are largely working from home wherever they can - and my dear friend was the ONLY person in her train carriage today.
No longer pregnant mind you.
But the irony of the situation did not escape her.
The surreal nature of life as we now know it, is palpable.
She noted how today, there were so few people waiting on the platform - no one rushed forward to hit the button to open the carriage doors, so they could hustle for a seat inside.
Instead, everyone stood back and waited, wide eye'd, to see who would be the first person to actually touch that button...
Strange times in the world.
I sat, pondering my friends experience this afternoon quite thoughtfully.
Twinges of sadness coursed through me, but then swiftly gave rise to the realisation, that we, as a collective, are being called on to change and alter all of our own distorted energy.
To regress back to ancient wisdom and a simpler, kinder, more intuitive existence.
To treat one another with respect and compassion and love.
And to lead with that, always.
We are in a world, right now, where those few plaintive souls on that train platform, were in fear of putting their finger on the button, to open the train doors.
God forbid if that button has the Covid19 virus droplets lingering on it's shiny surface.
Where once we were crushed as doors opened in peak hour....the silence and solitude of public transport stations and platforms around the world, echo into the ether of humanities manic, past existence...
I can recall, back in 2004, I was heavily pregnant with my first daughter, living and working in Canada.
It was December and the Christmas lights of the city reflected so beautifully off the snow.
I recall walking to the bus stop and being quite in awe of all the snow I was trudging through and the big jacket I was forced to wear, and smiling over how the ice cold air that assaulted my nasal passage and throat until it stung, was something I had truly never experienced before....
I was 7 months pregnant.
Morning sickness was a part of my every day life and that particular day, on the way to catch my bus, I slid and fell on the icy footpath, face down, belly first. My hair, eyelashes and lips, covered in dusty white snow.
I assessed any damage...only my knee hurt, I put my hand protectively over my belly as I tried to pull myself into a standing position on the icy footpath and navigate my way to the bus stop.
I walked slower, more carefully.
Being an Australian, who had never seen snow or encountered the danger of ice covered walkways, this was all so new to me.
As I reached the bus stop and grabbed the pole with my mitten covered hand and caught my breath, I couldn't help but smile over how incredibly difficult this entire situation seemed.
All of my life I had been used to lengthy, sunshiny days, the occasional fierce summer storm, and a few cool-ish weeks that you could barely call "Winter"- and here I was, heavily pregnant, slipping and sliding through my life in Canada.
It felt like the Hunger Games! ha!
The bus eventually came, I marveled again over how public transport was heated here.
The bus was full, so I stood in the middle and held the handle that dangled from the ceiling, praying that I would not fall again.
As I stood there, I gazed at the young man playing his Game Boy in the front seat.
The middle aged woman,sitting next to him reading.
The teenager in his school uniform who was writing furiously - everyone so caught up in there own 'moments'- that they didn't even see the heavily pregnant woman, with wet, scuffed clothing, dangling from a handle, standing in the center of the bus, as it surged and choked around busy corners and city streets....
I remember having a fleeting feeling of disappointment in humanity that day.
But I kept repeating to myself in my head, that I would be the first to get off and I was grateful for that small mercy, because the nausea was coming in heavy waves as the bus lurched to my central location.
I could feel the sweat dripping down my back, my thick coat, now far too warm in that heated bus for my heavily pregnant body.
My mouth felt dry and I started to see spots in front of my eyes...
I clung to that pitiful handle, dangling from the ceiling of the bus, as if it were my umbilical cord to all of life.
I was on the verge of fainting, on a packed bus, 7 months pregnant!
I was wild eye'd, gasping for breath, trying to steady the sway of my body and the awful rising waves of nausea.
It was in that very moment, that the teenager in his school uniform stopped writing furiously and glanced up.
I noted the instantly pained expression on his face, he grabbed up his books from his lap awkwardly and asked me to please have his seat.
"Are you ok? I'm so sorry I didn't see you earlier. Please sit down"
I could have wept. Sinking my big, pregnant body down into that seat, was my final act of being "present"- before I did, indeed faint.
When I came to, mere moments later, the bus driver was yelling in my face "Are you ok??!!! Pregnant eh????? Hello!!!"
I apologised breathlessly and thanked him and the schoolboy who hovered so worriedly, before I proceeded to stand, with the bus drivers help and I got off. "See your Dr eh? Good luck with your baby!" the bus driver called after me.
The school boy got off with me, determined to assist me to my destination.
He looked pained the entire way and continued to apologise softly.
I finally turned to him and smiled and said "You got up, in precisely the moment I needed you most. Thank you"
And with that, we parted ways.
I will never forget that moment.
Feeling so incredibly vulnerable and so pregnant and so very far away from everything I had ever known.
But it struck me today, that we are all feeling precisely this way, right now.
Sans the pregnant part, for most of us though, I think. ha!
It's a surreal existence, in this new world....
Everything is changing so rapidly, every moment, of every day and we are being forced to bend and alter and adjust to a new way of being, at every turn.
Life will never be the same as we once knew it to be.
But I know this for sure;
It's not meant to be the same.
It's meant to be far more beautiful than it ever was.
We are being forced back to basics.
Back to the foundation of brilliance that exists in all of us.
It is indeed, our natural state of being.
In moments of great change and challenge, in times of the breathless sting of adversity - we are shown very clearly, either the very best of humanity, or the very worst.
The good news is, we consciously get to choose, in each and every moment of this life experience, who we are going to be for the world and how we are going to rise and respond.
May we rise with love.
May we rise from the resonance of compassion and care.
May we never forget the immeasurable and limitless power of our own potential, in each and every moment on this planet.
And may we always be present and aware enough to realise and understand, that every choice we make, has an energetic ripple effect, through humanity and the Universe.
Our fears and our judgements, keep us disconnected and separated from one another.
When the truth is, we are all one.
We are all connected.
We are all magnificent, spiritual, energetic beings, born from the source of oneness and wholeness, intimately and intricately connected to one another and the infinite fabric of the Universe.
We are merely here on the Earth plane, having a human experience, for but a moment in time....
Look after one another.
Look out for one another.
Lead with love.
Act with integrity and compassion.
Know that the pregnant woman on the train, is you.
The schoolboy who offers up his seat, is you.
The neighbors, brothers wife who tested positive for covid-19, is you.
Your boss,with chronic asthma, is you.
You're Grandmother who is afraid right now, is you.
The thousands of people who have perished because of this global pandemic, regardless of their nationality, are all you.
The thousands more who have survived across the world, are you too.
We are all threads of the same tapestry.
Just here, to walk one another "home".
Step into your fullness, your richness, your vastness and your greatness today my friends.
And shine your beautiful, bright light out into a world, that desperately needs you.
Biggest Love Always,