1. PLAYING SMALL : The victim mentality.
When we play the victim, we are playing small my friends and in an instant, completely dis-empowering ourselves.
When we blame others for our current reality, we are actively and intentionally disarming ourselves and assuming (and believing) we cannot control anything.
In truth, there are certainly circumstances in life we cannot control and we definitely can’t control other people – BUT we are always in complete control of the way we respond to any situation or person and how we choose to rise, in spite of them defines us.
We must take ownership of ourselves and our lives. “Life” is not something that’s merely happening TO us. No my friends, we are actively calling everything into our sphere of existence in the present moment every second of every day.
Don’t ever see yourself as the “victim”- it’s dis-empowering and an act of detaching yourself from your life experience.
Instead, when you have clarity around events, change the way you respond to them?
Instead of thinking “Why me?!”- perhaps think instead “What is this trying to teach me?”
In a coaching session I had with a client last week, she said :
“This guy, who I thought was perfect in every way, cheated on me and has left me for the other girl. I was and still am, heartbroken. Everywhere I go lately, I see him. Or this woman he left me for. They are showing up EVERYWHERE. Do you think it’s the Universes way of telling me this guy - is still the guy for me?”
My answer was this :
“NO! Think of it as if the Universe is saying to you ‘Anna, we know you want the love of your life and you ARE so close. We’re making this 'almost' perfect guy show up everywhere you are, to (a) reassure you that you ARE so close and (b) remind you that YOU DESERVE FAR BETTER. When you know and believe you truly deserve better and you intentionally and consciously expect better, the right person for you, will appear”
It was a big AHA moment for her.
Sometimes we want so desperately to believe in someone or something, that we take everything as a sign that it’s meant to be ours. When in truth, every single incident and coincidence and sign, is an effort to help us learn and grow and evolve one step closer to who we're meant to become.
Anna today, is almost, but not quite where she needs to be, for the partner of her dreams to show up. Anna needs to love herself more. And now she will!
But with a change of perspective and some clarity, she now has a deeper understanding of the workings of the Universe.
I like to call this “cosmic re-direction”- the Universe never says “NO”- but it doesn’t always say a clear “YES” either.
We think we know what we want and need. But lets be honest here, not everything we desire is working toward our highest good is it? That’s the Universes job – to bring us back into alignment.
This process is not always easy and the work can feel hard. But I promise you friends, it is always worth it.
Become who YOU are meant to be for the world – and everything you’ve ever dreamt of for yourself and your life, already exists for you!
We are powerful beyond
measure – we must never, ever forget that.
And in the moments that we do, we must come back to ourselves, with love and grace.
Our thoughts and the feelings we place on our manifestations, all carry electromagnetic frequencies that are constantly attracting people, situations and circumstances into our reality, in real time.
The good news is, we are the Captains of our own ships my friends. Think a new thought, feel a new feeling – get back to the place where you feel GOOD.
Because from THAT place….magic happens.
2. LIMITING BELIEFS : Toxic self talk
- Re-telling old stories
- I need to work really hard to become financially free.
- Money doesn’t grow on trees!
- I’m just not meant to find love.
- I have no friends.
- I wasn’t born to be successful.
- I could never do that.
- I have no talent.
- I’m too fat.
Old stories! What I want you to know and intrinsically understand, is that the way we speak to ourselves is so powerful and SO important.
NOTHING can come into our reality if we don’t believe it’s a possibility in the first instance.
We all have old stories that we repeat and tell ourselves constantly. Almost habitually, without having any regard for how those thoughts continually impact our moment-to-moment existence.
Often these stories were ingrained in us by people we love. Or we thought them ourselves and constantly look for affirmation and signs that they are true.
I remember one night, back when I weighed about 140kgs, I was having drinks with friends. They pulled up one of those dodgy outdoor folding chairs for me.
“I can’t sit in that, I’m too fat. It will break” I said, before sitting in the chair.
Mid- way through a conversation, the chair buckled beneath my weight and I ended up on the ground amid much laughter.
“See! I told you!” I said. Laughing, but so deeply embarrassed.
I had immediately manifested that moment into my life and I used it as reinforcement that “I can’t”- “I’m too fat”- “I’m not capable”- and those thoughts, crippled my entire life!
As if I was a bystander to my own existence!?
As if I had no control over what I put in my mouth?
As if I had no control over my own life?
When the truth is, I carried my trauma as an armour of flesh and fat, for all the world to see. Somehow, in my head, it was separate from who I was. I distanced myself from the fat girl, because she was a constant reminder of too many deep and incredibly painful childhood traumas.
But I used her, as an excuse, to reinforce that I was NOT worthy of living a better life. And I looked for constant affirmation that it was true.
Whatever you think about, you bring about!
The ONLY thing keeping you from being who you were meant to be for the world and having everything you desire – is the belief that you can never have it!
Expand your mind, welcome in the prospect of unlimited possibilities and watch the magic and miracles occur in your life!
Your thoughts are powerful my friends – use them to wage an empowered and intentional self-revolution, not an internal, lifetime war.
3. Not Being Specific : It's time to get intentional!
So many of us spend so much time thinking thoughts of lack and getting lost in our own limiting beliefs, when we become more conscious of this, we realise that we don’t make the time to think about all the things we really DO want.
When we carve out time and create the space, to think about all the things we want in our lives, we naturally become excited. We feel like we have something to look forward to and anticipate.
We understand, in that moment, that life is constantly responding to our energetic vibration.
We must be an energetic match, for all that we desire. Once that happens, the Universe ushers in all that lies in anticipation of this awakening.
So I want you to practice something today.
I want you to sit down and ask yourself :
"If I had every resource available to me, in this moment, that I could ever want..."
- Who would I be?
- What would I do?
- What would I have?
This is a great question to ask yourself frequently as a 'check in' point. Writing things down can be a powerful initial step, to attracting all that you desire into your life.
When we dream big, bold dreams for ourselves and our lives - we need to get really intentional about the action we take.
We can't take any action - until we understand what it is that we want.
If you're feeling a bit lost and unsure of what it is that you want to do with your life, I urge you to write a list with two columns :
Everything I LOVE & Everything I'm GOOD at
Write down everything you can think of. And be really honest with yourself.
What ARE you good at? (Organisation? Are you reliable? A good leader? De-cluttering? Technical stuff? Painting? -
Then be really enthusiastic and intentional about the things you LOVE list (Surfing? Laughing? Coffee? Smoothies? Friends? Family? Cars? Travel? Maths? Write it ALL down!)
This is where I began. What was I good at? I was always good with people. I like to be of service.
What did I love? 7th on my list was "global textiles'- I had a long love affair with them personally.
So I married the two together and 48 hours later, I launched my small business. Selling textiles to the world.
I started with NO money, NO capital. NO help. Nothing.
Just me, breastfeeding a newborn with a few vintage textiles ready to sell, I created a basic website, got on facebook and Instagram and Pinterest - and started off slow.
Today, I have a thriving, bustling global business. I get to travel the globe, be completely of service to others and hoard all the textiles I could ever dream of! haha
In addition, I have been able to expand my ability, in the many ways I CAN be of service to others.
As I have grown and evolved, so too, has my business.
Begin where you are, with what you have my friends. It doesn't need to be fancy or perfect - but go ALL in, with all your heart.
You cannot lose! We will only learn!
4. NOT LOVING YOURSELF : Self care, the foundation.
We all struggle with this one most.
We are our own worst critic and we hate on ourselves without even consciously realizing it, every single day.
Often, multiple times a day.
Every negative thought is just a thought my friends. They are NOT absolute truths.
The good news is, we can actively and intentionally change our thoughts. We have complete control over them!
When you catch yourself being negative or thinking awful things about yourself. STOP!
Breathe. Think something loving and tender for yourself instead.
It never ceases to amaze me, the venom and maliciousness with which we treat ourselves. We save our most tender, loving thoughts and actions for others.
And this is our mistake.
We must love ourselves, thoroughly, deliberately and intentionally, every single day – so that we can be the best version of ourselves, FOR ourselves and for the ones that we love.
I used to be the Queen of negative self-talk, much of it was deeply ingrained in me from my traumatic childhood and then as I grew, I set about finding confirmation of these things everywhere I looked.
And of course, because I believed them – I found more of them.
And so the cycle goes.
- I’m fat
- I never finish anything
- I’m too scared to start anything
- I have no control
- I am at the mercy of this awful world…..and on and on and on…
In my late 30’s, after watching my Mother die – I realized that the only person I could ever rely on in my life – was me.
And how was I going to show up for myself?
How was I going to be my own best friend?
How was I going to experience happiness and release all the pain?
Who was I meant to become for the world?
I didn’t have the answers at the time of course. But I just started simply. By doing things that bought me joy. By being far more gentle with myself. Replacing the negative talk – with loving thoughts.
To be my own best friend, I had to learn to give myself the tenderness I had never had.
I had to learn, how to fall in love with me.
And over time, with intentional, consistent action – I definitely did.
Start by replacing old, negative thoughts that serve no one – with loving, empowered thoughts.
We have the ability to be and do anything in this life. We truly do. We are not stuck. We are not trapped.
We ARE often prisoners of our own making. It’s time to break that cycle and lead with love.
If YOU were your own best friend ;
- How would you think about yourself differently?
- How would you treat yourself differently?
- How would you speak about yourself differently?
You need to be your own cheerleader and your own powerhouse of unwavering support my friends.
You are capable. You are worthy. And when you alter the relationship you have with yourself and discover all the many ways you love yourself – you will, quite literally, change your life.
To come into alignment with who you are meant to be, holds the biggest sense of freedom, you will ever experience.
5. FEAR : It's ok to be afraid - it's not ok to let it cripple you!
Being afraid is ok. In fact, being afraid is completely normal.
Big dreams, big action, big intention should make you feel a touch afraid. But your excitement will always be far greater!
There are so many reasons we feel and experience crippling fear.
Again, we become prisoners of our own minds.
My friends, this is mindset work. It’s all about shifting your perspective. So we must think differently, to accomplish the things we never would have tried before.
For years I was afraid to live a life that was bigger than I ever dared to dream.
- I was afraid to lose the weight.
- I was afraid to drive.
- I was afraid to start my own business.
- I was afraid to love.
- I was crippled by my own fear.
So instead of doing anything – I did a whole lot of NOTHING for years!
No more my friends! I deserve the big, bold, beautiful life I always dreamed of!
And so do you!
It doesn’t matter if you fail. It doesn’t matter if you’re exposed. It doesn’t matter if you are so uncomfortable, it physically hurts.
LET yourself be uncomfortable!
Give yourself permission to fail as many times as you need to!
Give yourself the space, time and grace to make mistakes, to learn, to grow, to DO!
The Universe listens to intentional action.
A dream is just a dream, until we take the action required to propel ourselves toward what it is we desire most.
- Take the course!
- Book the trip!
- Do the yoga class!
- Start that business!
- Put yourself out in the world and date!
- Stop being so afraid that you cease living.
We get one life my friends. We have to make it the biggest, boldest, most beautiful expression of who and what we are for the world.
Think bigger. Think beyond yourself. And remember who you want to be, where you want to be and what you want to achieve.
When we think beyond our present moment, we allow ourselves to dream much larger dreams for ourselves.
And I’m here to tell you – even then, even with the wildest notions and most magnificent dreams – the Universe can and WILL over deliver!
I want you to experience that majesty for yourself, in real time.
What are some of your hardest mindset beliefs to overcome? Which ones do you feel hold you back the most from having the life you want?
It's time to make the changes necessary to live the life you deserve!